Rift
by LairOfKyuubi
Summary: Words that were said and the ones that weren't. Brothers, enemies, and finally something else entirely. Both blind to each other. Both left to wonder how it all came to be.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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><p>"<em><strong>Foolish little brother. If you wish to kill me one day in hate and revenge... Surviving in such an unsightly manner as this... By all means, flee; Cling to your wretched life. Then one day, when you possess the same eyes... Come back and face me."<strong>_

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><p>I was so stupid when I was younger. Angry at being overlooked because of you. Angry at you, because you were perfect. Angry at you for understanding that I was angry at you. Angry at our father because he did it on purpose, so we would be stronger. Angry at myself because I was weak.<p>

Even after that night, nothing changed.

I was angry at you for killing them. Angry at the ninja for letting it happen. Angry at the villagers and their damned pitying looks. I turned the anger into a stimulant that let me train until I bled. After training, I would always go into that empty district. The ghosts never left me alone. My nightmares were filled with blood and gore, and I hated you for it.

When I was placed on a genin team, nothing changed.

They were annoying and stupid. They blocked me from my goal of killing you, I had childishly thought. I was angry at Sakura for never leaving me the hell alone and realizing I could never love her. I was angry at Naruto for his idiotic need for me to recognize him as a worthy rival. I was angry at Kakashi for being a horrible sensei.

Yet, somehow they attached themselves to me. I hadn't realized it for a while. It was during the Wave mission that I found out. That I would willingly die for one of my comrades and let you live.

It changed me.

When I realized I had lived, I looked at everything differently. Sakura was annoying, but knew important facts and had excellent chakra control. Naruto was loud, but dependable and strong. Also he somehow became my rival and best friend. Kakashi was always late, but just a ninja who never knew how to deal with kids and ended up saving our lives more often than not. They were my team, my precious comrades. I think then, I was sort of happy.

But then we returned, and continued the boring missions. I needed a fight, a way to prove my strength.

I found it too, in probably the most infamous of Chuunin Exams that had ever occurred.

Seeing so many strong people all in one place assured me that it was the perfect test.

Passing through the first exams easily. Being thrown into the second where I could trust no one but my team.

But we were ambushed. Orochimaru craved our bloodline limit and sought me out. We fought, and I lost. But he gave me what I wanted, what I _needed_ and craved like a drug. Power.

Limitless power.

He left certain I would come to him.

Passing the preliminary, receiving the news I'd have to fight Gaara.

I knew that if I didn't get more power, I'd be mercilessly slaughtered. I trained with Kakashi on the mountain for a month.

Gaara found me there. He saw right through me. The redheaded murderer reminded me so much of you, it was easy to slip your face over his whenever I saw him.

But he wasn't you. He was a true monster, bent on mindless destruction. I had to stop him. Because he was supposed to be you and I wasn't supposed to lose to you. But I did lose.

And Naruto saved my life and beat that monster with his own.

After that battle, I was forced to accept how useless I'd been. Naruto was surpassing me, using the massive chakra of the Kyuubi to force his way through anything. I trained obsessively, craving power. You had no idea, how close I was to giving up and just settling for a normal life with my team.

But maybe you had a clue, because you came and dangled yourself like a prize right in front of my face. I confronted you, so goddamned sure of myself and too cocky to let anyone help me. You beat me down effortlessly and told me you were only interested in _goddamned fucking_ _Naruto!_

When I came to in Konoha, it was the last straw. Filled with hate, I challenged Naruto. Sakura got caught in the middle, like always. Kakashi stopped the fighting, like always.

But instead of Naruto, it was I who stormed off like some immature brat.

Kakashi caught me and told me, I was being an asshole and to give up revenge. But I couldn't do that now could I?

Because the Sound Four came with their delicious promise of power, I went with them.

Leaving Sakura behind with those worthless three words. No, not '_I love you'_, but '_Thanks for everything'_. Really, I only said them because it was goodbye and I couldn't end it saying something like _'So long suckers!'_

Then gaining all the power I could have dreamed of.

Ready to damn myself and be drenched in Naruto's blood, I fought him at the Valley of the End.

We fought like possessed demons, and if you think about it, we were. But like I told him, it's too late. It was always too late. Too late to stop the clan. Too late to live a normal life. Too late to change myself. Too late to save me.

Our most powerful attacks collided. He wouldn't kill me, so I was the one who scored a second hit and remained conscious after the attacks faded.

I didn't kill him. I didn't want to be like you. Even though I am. You made me like you. I think I always knew that, but I was happy to be your shadow. Because in some twisted way it meant that you did care about my existence. That's why I followed that dark path you set for me so many years ago.

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><p>"<strong>It's just like you said, brother. I fostered my hatred for you all this time. I've lived my life for one single purpose: to see you die! It ends here!"<strong>

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><p><em>So close. I'm almost done. You're almost here little brother. I'm waiting, but I can't wait much longer. I have to save you. I've forgone saving myself long ago. <em>

_There's so much you still don't know. So little time to teach you. I don't think you even want to learn._

_I don't know if I can save you._

_I don't know if I can stand dying and leaving you here alone._

_I'm not ready to die. I could do so much more. I could be so much more-_

_There you are Sasuke. It took you long enough. _

_Seeing you now, I think I'm ready. I've run out of time. I can feel the pain in my chest as I gather up my chakra. I can barely see you brother._

_But I can still beat you._

_I can still try to change you._

_This is the last time._

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><p><em><strong>"You and I are flesh and blood. I'm always going to be there for you, even if it's only as an obstacle for you to overcome. Even if you do hate me. That's what big brothers are for."<strong>_

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><p>Looks like you win again, brother. I've fallen for your lies again just like I did that night. Over and over you've fooled me so that I would follow your plans to the letter. So that I could survive and carry on the Uchiha name like you wanted. But you know what? You want to know what I think?<p>

I should have died with you, brother. For years I had planned on nothing else. Yet as we lay together in the ruins of the Uchiha hideout, my chest rose up and down as I thought desperately, I want to live!

The black flames should have covered the both of us, destroying the last remainder of Uchiha left. I could have died thinking I was a hero. That I had finally completed my mission and could rest in peace.

But it didn't happen that way.

A wraith of an Uchiha saved me. He told me the truth about that night, the Uchiha, Konoha, and most of all, you.

I really knew nothing about you. But then again, I don't think you wanted anyone to know you. Deliberately ambiguous, stoic, and strong. That's all anybody could really say about you in the past. Now I can say you were a sacrifice, a hero, and a spy.

But, really, I think you were selfish, Itachi.

You could have killed me so many times. But instead you made me suffer. So you could plan everything out for you own redemption. You took the easy way out and left me here to figure out the riddle you left behind.

You gave me power. Why? What else do you want me to do? Why couldn't you do it? I'm so goddamn tired of revenge and fighting. Tired of feeling so damned hollow inside. But I have to don't I? Otherwise I can never live for real. Because, now, you're just another ghost among many, crying out for retribution.

So I will kill the elders. I will kill the entire village if need be. And among the burning ashes of Konoha, I will cry tears of blood. Because I know that it will never end. I will always be taking revenge against someone for some fucking reason or the other. But I will continue on.

Because it's the only thing I know how to do.

The only thing you taught me, brother.

Then they will come after me like always. My old friends. And I will look upon them with cold eyes and demean them. Even though inside, I'm screaming for them to save me from this. My sword will slice through them and keep going. Killing my soul as you did, that night.

Then I will look at his red eyes as he roars savagely at me, more beast then human. I will attempt to control him with these cursed eyes of ours. I'll probably fail and get killed by my old best friend.

If not him, then I'll die at the hands of Madara, or Kabuto. It doesn't really matter.

Because as I lay dying, I'll remember everything. Then I'll realize how damn pointless it was. I'll die cursing the Uchiha, the Senju, my friends, our family, you, and myself for being a fucking idiot.

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><p><strong>"I have long since closed my eyes… My only goal is in the darkness."<strong>

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><p><em>How far would you go to save someone you love? Could you kill your own family? Would you be able to leave the country that should have called you hero labeled as a psychopath of the highest level? Could you live for years on end as your body deteriorated and you slowly went blind? And when it's all said and done would you be able to accept that you have failed?<em>

_I've been there. I've done it all. It all started with that night. It could have been a simple mission. Exterminate the Uchiha clan. Leave no survivors. I might have been able to stay in Konoha, alone and distrusted of course, but I'd be able to live in the place I loved. _

_Things are never simple._

_It was because of you, Sasuke. You were the only one I couldn't kill. My little brother, you were the beginning of everything. And the ending of course. _

_You were my shadow. You always wanted to be like me. You wanted father's attention just like any other boy would. I was always in the spotlight and you hated me for it. Don't lie. It's ok. That's just how brothers are._

_So that night when I saw you, trembling at the sight of our parent's corpses, I knew I had to save you. I knew that it wouldn't be easy and that you would hate me for the rest your life. Right then, I thought it would be worth it as long as I could save my precious little brother._

_So I was cruel. I was hateful. For you I became the embodiment of evil. I know you Sasuke. I know you would make yourself stronger and come after me. Power's all you've ever cared about. And know that I think about it, that was the problem._

_That's where we're different, brother. I never sought out power, I was simply born gifted. You on the other hand will go to any means to get it. At least that's what I learned the next time we met._

_Four years later and you barely seemed like the brother I knew. You were brimming with anger and a strange sort of pride. Because of that pride you rejected any sort help and charged recklessly at me._

_You're smarter than that aren't you brother? I really hoped so at the time. Then I saw it. Orochimaru's curse seal. _

_I am not an angry man, but at that moment I wanted nothing more than to find Orochimaru and annihilate him. He had ruined my plan. He had corrupted you. So I had to think of a new plan. One where I could get rid of your curse and still save your life. All the while my own life was dwindling because of disease._

_I left you alone for three years to think. Simply to think and to plan. I knew you would grow stronger and that would increase your chance of survival when we met again._

_Let me tell you something you might not realize, brother. I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be so. Those nights when it hurt just to breathe, I hated you. I hated everything about you. You had everything. Everything that I had wanted. Freedom from the clan, a peaceful village and friends who cared about you._

_I always told myself it was my own fault. I had pushed too hard, too soon. I made you feel inferior as I always have. Not just to me, but to your friend, Uzumaki Naruto._

_He is a strange one, Uzumaki Naruto. You know when I met with him before our final fight; he claimed to be a better brother than me. _

_I almost laughed at him. Then I realized that maybe he was right._

_Everything you are today, Sasuke, is what I made you into. Almost every step you took was dictated by me. In essence you are my creation. But you're flawed._

_I've made mistakes concerning you. My plans for you have come apart time and time again because of one simple thing._

_You're not me and you never will be._

_We may be more similar than different, but we're different enough that it made a difference. Somewhere in those three years since I'd seen you, you'd found darkness. I knew you'd embrace it, but I foolishly thought that once I was dead you'd let go of it and return to Konoha. But I was a fool._

_You're so far gone, Sasuke. You just want to spread hatred and pain. You're a villain, plain and simple. 'Where's the little boy I wanted to save? Where's my little brother?' I want to ask. But I know the answer. You are what I made you._

_You are my mistake._

_You are my failure._

_I cannot save you when you don't want to be saved._

_I know that now and maybe I knew it back when I was alive. I hope Naruto is right about being a better brother than me, because he's the only one who'll be able to stop you. I wish him luck and I hope I'll be able to see you again soon._

_You may be my mistake, but I love you little brother. Always have, always will._


End file.
